not 100% a dick

easton | 18 | male | pansexual | my girlfriend is eliza (@hemosuck) | michigan | ESFP | lots of fandoms, even more bad jokes

forever satisfying, never satisfied

i track #robotsatthedisco

a discussion on sexual orientation

  • me: *explaining various sexual orientations to a classmate*
  • classmate: wait, what's polyamory?
  • me: well, it's when someone has more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
  • professor: *overhears from front of class*
  • professor: that is d i s g u s t i n g
  • me: *defensively* um, actually, no it's--
  • professor: how DARE they put a greek prefix on a latin root like that?! What right do they have to decimate my beautiful antiquated languages?!?! GREEK AND LATIN DO NOT FRATERNIZE THIS IS LIKE THAT STUPID ROMANTIC SUBPLOT BETWEEN THAT DWARF AND THAT ELF IN THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!
  • me: ....
  • me: ....
  • me: ....
  • professor: it should be polyerosy

robotsatthedisco:

puppytierjade:

robotsatthedisco:

you can never lose an argument if you say “shut up nerd” at the end

yes you can

shut up nerd

dannnylawrence:

unlimitedgoats:

luxvriously:

My anaconda will consider it

My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.

Re: Your Anaconda,

Thank you for your consideration. Please keep my cover letter and resume in your files in case of any future openings. Good luck in all future endeavors.

Yours, etc.
A bunless hun

(via trickstersolluxandercaptor)

vegansanfrancishet:

So, I paint my nails pretty regularly these days. I also work as a barista/cashier pretty regularly these days. A few weeks back, I had a customer come in, a fairly typical, sheltered, suburban soccer mom, and she ordered a latte from me. She saw my brightly colored nails and said, “Wow, you’re so brave! My son asked me about painting his nails, and if it’s okay for boys to do that. Now I’ll tell him there’s a cool guy who does it too!” It was a nice moment, very cute.
Then, last week, she came in again, and said, “Hey, I’m so glad you’re here! I want you to meet someone!” She then brings her son forward, and says, “Okay sweetie, show him what you did!” And he throws his hands up, showing off his bright, sparkling blue nails. He shows them off, and I show mine off to him. He smiles. We fist bump.
Guys, I’ve only wanted to cry once at work before, and that was when someone ordered a large dry soy cappuccino on ice.
This time, though. This was a good cry.

vegansanfrancishet:

So, I paint my nails pretty regularly these days. I also work as a barista/cashier pretty regularly these days. A few weeks back, I had a customer come in, a fairly typical, sheltered, suburban soccer mom, and she ordered a latte from me. She saw my brightly colored nails and said, “Wow, you’re so brave! My son asked me about painting his nails, and if it’s okay for boys to do that. Now I’ll tell him there’s a cool guy who does it too!” It was a nice moment, very cute.

Then, last week, she came in again, and said, “Hey, I’m so glad you’re here! I want you to meet someone!” She then brings her son forward, and says, “Okay sweetie, show him what you did!” And he throws his hands up, showing off his bright, sparkling blue nails. He shows them off, and I show mine off to him. He smiles. We fist bump.

Guys, I’ve only wanted to cry once at work before, and that was when someone ordered a large dry soy cappuccino on ice.

This time, though. This was a good cry.

(Source: transtofuscramble, via 70-million)

gbfrankie:

Pluto becoming a planet again has really taught us that if we complain hard enough about something, we can change things, even on a planetary level

(via ifyouwishhardenough)

barkharley:

IT IS THE FIRST OF OCTOBER

IT IS TIME

TIME FOR SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS

(via notsolittlewolfe)

necessary-sass:

ten-roses-in-the-impala:

notanangryvegan:

shitroughdrafts:

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, by J.K. Rowling. June 26th, 1997.

He who is a dickhead

He-who-we-call-Tod


Of course we have a gif for that

necessary-sass:

ten-roses-in-the-impala:

notanangryvegan:

shitroughdrafts:

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, by J.K. Rowling. June 26th, 1997.

He who is a dickhead

He-who-we-call-Tod

image

Of course we have a gif for that

(via one-sociopath-per-tardis)